Anastasia Curtis Writes

When your anxiety makes you fall (Update on Life)

I am young, and being young means that I, like many of the people around my age, do not have all of my shit together yet. And maybe I never will, because in my opinion there will always be a curve thrown at you, or something that you will learn about yourself that you never knew.

I give advise when I know the answer to it. And I get those answers because I have lived through it and found something that works.

And getting that answer takes a lot, I stumble and fall and try all kinds of different things that might work. and most of them don’t.

But when I finally do find one that works and can overcome whatever thing it can make my life feel a little bit lighter and easier.

And if I am honest there will probably always be something in my life that makes me stumble because of my anxiety and autism.

And sometimes that thing will make me fall.

I fell.

My anxiety went up and I got sick, and then my anxiety acted up because I was sick.

and so I fell.

It was a shock to my brain as it tried to get its beings and figure out what happened and why.

And it tried to figure out what happens from here.

And that falling made that I had to take a break from a lot of things. Writing included. Both here and my novel.

But from the moment I fell it was a scramble to try to get back up.

Because to me that’s what you are supposed to do. Your supposed to keep trying to get back up and keep walking.

And it might not be a graceful walk (I am actually a very clumsy person to be honest) but that doesn’t matter.

Because to me stumbling through life is better than being at a standstill or on the ground.

And things have gotten better.

Things aren’t 100% yet and something have been thrown at me that I have to deal with (like my laptop breaking down).

But I will take this quote from my ‘Feel Better’ folder for times like this and my forever supportive dog (Who has now become a pure ball of fluff) keep moving forward.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your D*** lemons, what the h*** am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” -Cave Johnson, Portal 2

And after all of that emotional mess have these photos are of the my lovely pupper. Somehow she just changes into a giant fluff-ball mess after a while.

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2 thoughts on “When your anxiety makes you fall (Update on Life)

    1. I like to surround myself with things that make me laugh or things that just make me happy. Along with the folder I have a wall covered in my favorite quotes from shows/movies and games so that if I’m ever feeling down I just have to look around me.

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