When you have an anxiety disorder everyday can be a fight. And as life goes on and you get older you gather more tools, and you start to win more and more of these battles. But sometimes you lose.
Sometimes it can be just not getting out of the house that one afternoon, or missing an outing with your friend that one time.
And when you lose to those battles it can suck. And it can make you feel horrible.
Sometimes it can make you hate yourself, for doing that to yourself, to doing that to the other person.
But eventually you pick yourself up and you start to keep moving forward. And when that battle comes around again you hopefully win it that time.
But sometimes its a big thing.
Like missing that big event, or not being able to get yourself to go to school that one semester.
And those things can really leave you wounded.
It can leave you feeling more than horrible. And it can make you hate yourself more than ever.
When you lose to these types of battles it can feel worse than a punch to the gut. And it can make you just want to curl up in a ball and not move.
It can make you feel stupid and like you failed.
And its these types of battles that are harder to shake off.
And sometimes it can stop you from moving forward for a while.
And when you do start to move forward you can still feel the wounds from the last one. And it might leave you losing the next battle, and the one after that.
But eventually those wounds close, they don’t leave and you can still feel them, but they close and leave behind only a scar.
And with that scar you move on, and hopefully are more hardened for the next time it comes around.
But one thing never changes.
You Move Forward.