I hate crowds. They are loud, they brush up against others, and they, well crowd you.
I hate small talk. It makes me feel awkward and not know what to say.
I hate talking to strangers. It also makes me feel awkward and not know what to say.
So its a given that I have a love hate relationship with shopping. I love to go to the bookstore and get a good handful of books. But I know when I enter that store, or any store that I will most likely be asked how my day was by a friendly worker, my anxiety bubbles.
You see when a stranger talks to me I freeze like a deer that heard a wolf. Except for me the wolf is a friendly worker who really only wants you to answer “good, how is yours?” and to maybe help you find something.
So that means that this usually how it goes: when I go into a store I get talked to making me, freeze eyes going wide, hopefully get out a answer that’s not awkward, hopefully get a reply before bounding off to hide in the forest of books like the metaphorical deer I am.
It sucks, I can work on it, I might get better at it.
at least I’m not to bad at it. I’ve never told them how my actual day has gone. So I think I can work with this.