As I mentioned In my previous post about autism and school, School was the worst for me.
Everyday before going to school would rise to the level of explosion. the night before school would be an uphill battle of trying to talk myself into going to school the next day.
Sometimes I failed. I just couldn’t make myself go.
Just looking at the school made me panic. I hated it, I wanted nothing do with it.
And the worst part was I couldn’t pinpoint what it was that I hated about the school, what it was that made me panic about it.
My family always asked me if I was being bullied, was it the teachers? the students? the amount of students?
Well the amount of students didn’t help with my anxiety or my yet to be diagnosed autism. The school had close to 900 students, that wasn’t good for me.
But my autism prevented me from being able to figure out why I and what it was that caused me to panic.
I just know that I will never look back on it as a bright time in my life.
Even now thinking about high school makes my anxiety rise. Even driving by the school makes me feel like panicking.
But I want to fix this I want to go to collage and University and study psychology. But I can’t do that if I am always panicking. And I am seeking help and advice for this.
I hope I will get their at some point.