Anastasia Curtis Writes

New Laptop (And The Anxiety Of being Without One)

I mentioned in my last post a long while ago, (and that alone is something that I hate, as someone who hates to just stop writing out of the blue like that.) I had a laptop that was on the fritz and not doing very good.

And well . . . just a while after I posted that update it decided that it didn’t like writing any more, or word documents, or YouTube, or the internet Sites.

And while if it was feeling generous it would let me use the internet once in a while, though it didn’t seem to like to hold a WiFi signal.

And so for a long while I was left with a laptop that was more than half-broken.

And that alone right there was enough to make my anxiety rise.

But that wasn’t the only thing. I couldn’t afford to just drop the money to get a new laptop at that moment.

So after a time of panicking and letting anxiety get the better of me, I sat myself down and did some thinking on it.

I couldn’t afford to get one at that moment, but in a while I could, if I worked on it and saved the money.

And then it was trying to figure out what type of laptop to get, I was sort of done with the brand I had been using as it kept getting this brand, and it kept breaking down on me in short time (and I am not going to name this brand, as this isn’t why I’m here).

And then other things like what would I be using this laptop for? What do I want to also us this for other than my writing?

And then all the anxiety from trying to figure out what laptop on the market was good for what I want, what as to cheep to be good for what I want, and what was a good deal for what I wanted.

And that alone made my already rising anxiety rise even higher.

But that was only the trying to find the laptop situation.

When you have been fortunate to be able to have a laptop or compute for a big part of your life, being without it can really change things.

Not to mention that because of both my anxiety and autism routine is something that I usually have in my life.

So that took some getting used to, a change in routine? Okay, some anxiety rises there, but with some balancing and stumbling I can find a steady pace again eventually.

But there was one big thing that this really impacted.

Writing.

Be it on this blog, or just short stories, or even the novel I was trying to finish.

I write pretty much daily.

Or I did before the laptop situation.

And like many writers I want to write all the time.

And when I can’t do that it can suck.

But I tried to work through this like everything else. It sucked, and I failed a time or two in trying to get my anxiety and frustration back down.

But it got better.

I got some help and advice from a family member with the laptop situation, which I will forever be grateful for.

And so everything is okay.

But it usually is.

Your brain might be telling you that it will never be okay again, and that this one situation is going to be it for you. And you might be at the end of your ropes.

But you can move past this

Sure you might stumble, or even fall. But you’ll get up, you’ll figure it out.

And eventually you can find your steady pace again.

It’s just a matter of getting to that point again.

Because you’ll be okay eventually.

So have that point to look forward to as you stumble along.

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