I lost my father about four years ago, I remember when they told me, I remember that it was Christmas season.
I had not been living with my dad at the time. I had just moved back to live with other relatives actually. Maybe a year before he died.
Two of the biggest regrets that I have is not talking to him more. And not taking the time to grieve for him after his death.
I spent most of the months after he died numb, not feeling the loss. I remember spending the months after he died binge watching shows and playing games, so that I could avoid lingering on the loss.
I wish that I had taken the time to grieve him more. I felt the loss yes, but I pushed it down. Didn’t give myself the proper time, the time to just cry, to let it out.
Now, four years or so after the death I still miss him, would give anything to get him back. But its a big easier now, after giving myself the time to process. It still hurts, and it still hits me at times, but I will be okay.
I will always miss him, and it will always hurt, but it gets a little easier with each passing year. Though I will miss him forever.