Anastasia Curtis Writes

Hopes for the Future Through the lense of Anxiety

The future for me is something that I always look at with anxiety. I have things I want to do but don’t know if I am going to be able to do them.

I want to go to college/University for a degree in Criminal Psychology. But I don’t know if I am going to be able to go and do that. I don’t know if I am going to be able to get in, and I don’t know if my autism and anxiety will let me be able to attend a big school like that.

I want to publish novels. But I don’t know if I am going to be any good at it, or it people will like my works. I don’t know if I am going to be able to make any money off of them. I don’t know that my self-doubt and procrastination will affect my work and make me stop writing.

I want to move out and live on my own. But I don’t know if I will have a steady income or job that will let me do that. Or that I will have all the skills needed to be able to live on my own and not die.

I want to be able to do things that I can’t do now because my anxiety gets in the way. But I don’t know if any of the things that I am using to work on that will actually work in the future.

And I want to get be more healthy and exercise but I don’t know if I will stick with that in the future like I am trying to do now.

All this and more or what I want for the future. And all this and more are what I worry about for the future.

I want this all to be true for the future, but the thing is all I can do is hope for the best. Because I don’t know if this will all be true, or that this will all happen like I want it to.

And truthfully I don’t thing that it will work out like I am planning it to. All I can hope for is that even if it doesn’t work out like I am planning to is that it will work out. Just not in the way that I wanted.

So even with all of this worry I am scared but hoping for the best.

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